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Honeymoon Funding: Tasteful or Tacky?

Honeymoon Funding: Tasteful or Tacky?



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Is it all right to register for R & R?

Weddings — they’re emotional, they’re romantic, and let’s face it, they’re expensive.

It’s no secret that weddings can easily break the bank, unless eloping or just going down to City Hall on a lunch break is the celebration of choice. Not even having a destination wedding will lighten the load these days. After the reception, the flowers, the photographer, the limo, and the other boatload of things on the list, there’s the honeymoon.

Ah, the honeymoon — where wedded bliss can actually begin with a little relaxation. Guess what? It’s also expensive. Ergo, someone thought it would be wise to forgo the traditional bridal route of registering for pots, pans, and enough china to entertain a small army, and register for the honeymoon instead. Yes, it's now possible to register for tequila-making classes in Cabo or dinner at a fabulous bistro in Paris — just add ‘em to the fund.

Various web sites like Mr and Mrs Smith, Buy-Our-Honeymoon, and Honeyfund make it possible for this to happen. Guests can simply give as much as they’d like and designate it to an entire activity, cover a portion of an activity, or simply add to the spending pile. Want to get really fancy? Make it a Disney Honeymoon and have family and friends contribute to character brunches, Epcot dinners, or classics like bride and groom Mickey Mouse ears.

OK, now that we have pitched the idea, what do you think — tacky or tasteful? Would you rather a Cuisinart mixer in Tiffany blue or a dream meal overlooking the Grand Canyon? Tell us in the comments!


Millennial newlyweds just want you to Venmo them cash

Joseph Quijano was tired of running to the bank every time a friend got hitched.

“We’ve attended a lot of weddings over the years, and we’d give our friends cash. It was becoming a pain,” the 28-year-old DJ and events manager tells The Post.

So when he and his now-wife, Shannon, planned their wedding, they decided to make things easier for their guests.

“Everyone in our age group uses Venmo,” says Quijano, who lives in San Diego. “So we wanted to give them that option.”

When the couple made a Facebook page for their Sept. 8 bash, they listed a link to their wedding registry, which had a cash-donation option — plus the handles to their Venmo and Cash App accounts.

“Two weeks out from the wedding, people started Venmoing,” he says. In total, the couple received about $500 on the cash-sharing app.

From splitting the dinner bill to paying rent, wiring money through Venmo or similar apps has become a standard social practice. Now, the trend’s hitting the wedding industry: In 2018, wedding-planning website the Knot surveyed 1,337 wedding guests, and found that 2 percent of respondents who gave cash at a wedding did so using Venmo. Wedding experts expect that number to grow as more people become comfortable with that technology.

Joseph Quijano and his bride, Shannon, made Venmo an option for cash gift-giving for their wedding. Sydney Noelle

But there are plenty of naysayers. “Older people,” for example, might be put off by couples who share their Venmo information with guests before the wedding, says Rachel Flehinger, co-founder of the Adulting School in Portland, Maine. After all, in the pre-app days, it’s not like couples would announce that they wanted checks or cash — even if they did.

Listing your Venmo information, says Flehinger, “is like crowdsourcing” for cash — and she thinks nearlyweds who do it have “chutzpah.”

“It’s easy and convenient, but there’s no love or tradition,” agrees Jove Meyer, owner and creative director of his namesake New York City-based wedding- and events-design firm. While he’s not personally anti-Venmo, Meyer suspects that the platform makes the gifting process feel “transactional” for some. “It loses the magic of making it something special,” he says.

That might have been the case for Mary Kaltenberg’s wedding guests. The 32-year-old economics postdoctoral fellow at Brandeis University, near Boston, expected her friends to appreciate the cashless option for her August wedding.

“I have an international friend group, and we wanted something easier for people out of the country,” says Kaltenberg. She and her now-husband, Lucas, prominently displayed their Venmo and PayPal handles on their wedding website, alongside a link to a honeymoon fund via the registry Zola.

She was surprised when most of her guests opted to contribute to their Zola fund. “It [has fees,] instead of Venmo, which is free,” she says.

At least she had better luck than Josh, a 24-year-old PR professional who married his husband in Manhattan in November. The couple didn’t register for gifts or list their Venmo accounts, but “nine people gave us a card the day of and said they were Venmoing us,” he says. One friend even signed their card: “P.S. Venmo coming, xo.” But so far, he says, “just one person actually did it.”

Steve Clair has used Venmo several times for wedding gifts — and embellished them with occasion-appropriate emojis. Courtesy of Steve Clair

As for Steve Clair, a 33-year-old broker from Williamsburg, the app has actually rescued his gifting reputation.

At dinner with a recently married cousin, he was shocked when the cousin confronted him: “I’ve been holding this in, but I gotta know: What’s with the no wedding gift?”

They bickered for a few minutes about how long Clair had to send a gift (he thinks it’s a year his cousin disagreed). Then, to calm the waters, Clair decided to take action in the moment: “I’ll send it to you right now!” He opened up Venmo, typed in a string of emojis (man, woman, heart, ring, alcohol, bride) and sent the happy couple $200.

Since that gifting save, he’s Venmoed a few newlyweds, including another cousin, Yael Gewant.

“It was adorable,” says Gewant, who’s 31 and lives in Astoria. “But I’m old-fashioned — I would personally never do this. I still send people cards.”

To help smooth over the app awkwardness, Meyer, who plans “laid-back weddings for modern couples” including “Saturday Night Live’s” Aidy Bryant, suggests a few ground rules for both couples and guests.

“I am not at all in favor of listing your Venmo or PayPal handles on the actual wedding invitation, as that should focus on the details of the celebration, not the gifts the couple is hoping for,” Meyer says. “I am in favor, however, of having it listed on a separate details card in the invitation suite, and on the wedding website.” That way, he explains, people will have a clear sense of what you’re hoping for.

‘I’m old fashioned — I would personally never do this. I still send people cards.’

Flehinger agrees that it’s fine for engaged couples to share their Venmo handle with guests. “It’s the new check — as long as you put it gently” and in a “tasteful manner,” she says. The key is to remember that, unlike a split cab fare or electricity bill, these transactions are gifts — even if they arrive the same way. “As long as you [don’t think you’re] entitled to anything for your wedding, it’s totally acceptable.”

Depending on the couple, you might want to pair your transaction with a card, she says — but if the couple is younger, or the wedding is informal, that might be unnecessary.

“Venmo is so mainstream for younger people,” says Flehinger, who says she flies into a panic whenever she has to find her checkbook. “You put a little note in there, you put your emojis — that’s sort of personal for the younger, more techy generation.”

Kaltenberg says she and her fiancé had numerous talks about the etiquette of listing their app accounts — was it going to look like they were just begging for money?

“We had some big debate on it, but in the end . . . it’s no different than saying, ‘Here’s $50 cash,’ ” she says. “I wish people would embrace it.”

The Venmo MVP of her wedding was a close friend of hers: “She came right up to me at the wedding and said, ‘Can I just Venmo you?’ and did it in real time.”


Millennial newlyweds just want you to Venmo them cash

Joseph Quijano was tired of running to the bank every time a friend got hitched.

“We’ve attended a lot of weddings over the years, and we’d give our friends cash. It was becoming a pain,” the 28-year-old DJ and events manager tells The Post.

So when he and his now-wife, Shannon, planned their wedding, they decided to make things easier for their guests.

“Everyone in our age group uses Venmo,” says Quijano, who lives in San Diego. “So we wanted to give them that option.”

When the couple made a Facebook page for their Sept. 8 bash, they listed a link to their wedding registry, which had a cash-donation option — plus the handles to their Venmo and Cash App accounts.

“Two weeks out from the wedding, people started Venmoing,” he says. In total, the couple received about $500 on the cash-sharing app.

From splitting the dinner bill to paying rent, wiring money through Venmo or similar apps has become a standard social practice. Now, the trend’s hitting the wedding industry: In 2018, wedding-planning website the Knot surveyed 1,337 wedding guests, and found that 2 percent of respondents who gave cash at a wedding did so using Venmo. Wedding experts expect that number to grow as more people become comfortable with that technology.

Joseph Quijano and his bride, Shannon, made Venmo an option for cash gift-giving for their wedding. Sydney Noelle

But there are plenty of naysayers. “Older people,” for example, might be put off by couples who share their Venmo information with guests before the wedding, says Rachel Flehinger, co-founder of the Adulting School in Portland, Maine. After all, in the pre-app days, it’s not like couples would announce that they wanted checks or cash — even if they did.

Listing your Venmo information, says Flehinger, “is like crowdsourcing” for cash — and she thinks nearlyweds who do it have “chutzpah.”

“It’s easy and convenient, but there’s no love or tradition,” agrees Jove Meyer, owner and creative director of his namesake New York City-based wedding- and events-design firm. While he’s not personally anti-Venmo, Meyer suspects that the platform makes the gifting process feel “transactional” for some. “It loses the magic of making it something special,” he says.

That might have been the case for Mary Kaltenberg’s wedding guests. The 32-year-old economics postdoctoral fellow at Brandeis University, near Boston, expected her friends to appreciate the cashless option for her August wedding.

“I have an international friend group, and we wanted something easier for people out of the country,” says Kaltenberg. She and her now-husband, Lucas, prominently displayed their Venmo and PayPal handles on their wedding website, alongside a link to a honeymoon fund via the registry Zola.

She was surprised when most of her guests opted to contribute to their Zola fund. “It [has fees,] instead of Venmo, which is free,” she says.

At least she had better luck than Josh, a 24-year-old PR professional who married his husband in Manhattan in November. The couple didn’t register for gifts or list their Venmo accounts, but “nine people gave us a card the day of and said they were Venmoing us,” he says. One friend even signed their card: “P.S. Venmo coming, xo.” But so far, he says, “just one person actually did it.”

Steve Clair has used Venmo several times for wedding gifts — and embellished them with occasion-appropriate emojis. Courtesy of Steve Clair

As for Steve Clair, a 33-year-old broker from Williamsburg, the app has actually rescued his gifting reputation.

At dinner with a recently married cousin, he was shocked when the cousin confronted him: “I’ve been holding this in, but I gotta know: What’s with the no wedding gift?”

They bickered for a few minutes about how long Clair had to send a gift (he thinks it’s a year his cousin disagreed). Then, to calm the waters, Clair decided to take action in the moment: “I’ll send it to you right now!” He opened up Venmo, typed in a string of emojis (man, woman, heart, ring, alcohol, bride) and sent the happy couple $200.

Since that gifting save, he’s Venmoed a few newlyweds, including another cousin, Yael Gewant.

“It was adorable,” says Gewant, who’s 31 and lives in Astoria. “But I’m old-fashioned — I would personally never do this. I still send people cards.”

To help smooth over the app awkwardness, Meyer, who plans “laid-back weddings for modern couples” including “Saturday Night Live’s” Aidy Bryant, suggests a few ground rules for both couples and guests.

“I am not at all in favor of listing your Venmo or PayPal handles on the actual wedding invitation, as that should focus on the details of the celebration, not the gifts the couple is hoping for,” Meyer says. “I am in favor, however, of having it listed on a separate details card in the invitation suite, and on the wedding website.” That way, he explains, people will have a clear sense of what you’re hoping for.

‘I’m old fashioned — I would personally never do this. I still send people cards.’

Flehinger agrees that it’s fine for engaged couples to share their Venmo handle with guests. “It’s the new check — as long as you put it gently” and in a “tasteful manner,” she says. The key is to remember that, unlike a split cab fare or electricity bill, these transactions are gifts — even if they arrive the same way. “As long as you [don’t think you’re] entitled to anything for your wedding, it’s totally acceptable.”

Depending on the couple, you might want to pair your transaction with a card, she says — but if the couple is younger, or the wedding is informal, that might be unnecessary.

“Venmo is so mainstream for younger people,” says Flehinger, who says she flies into a panic whenever she has to find her checkbook. “You put a little note in there, you put your emojis — that’s sort of personal for the younger, more techy generation.”

Kaltenberg says she and her fiancé had numerous talks about the etiquette of listing their app accounts — was it going to look like they were just begging for money?

“We had some big debate on it, but in the end . . . it’s no different than saying, ‘Here’s $50 cash,’ ” she says. “I wish people would embrace it.”

The Venmo MVP of her wedding was a close friend of hers: “She came right up to me at the wedding and said, ‘Can I just Venmo you?’ and did it in real time.”


Millennial newlyweds just want you to Venmo them cash

Joseph Quijano was tired of running to the bank every time a friend got hitched.

“We’ve attended a lot of weddings over the years, and we’d give our friends cash. It was becoming a pain,” the 28-year-old DJ and events manager tells The Post.

So when he and his now-wife, Shannon, planned their wedding, they decided to make things easier for their guests.

“Everyone in our age group uses Venmo,” says Quijano, who lives in San Diego. “So we wanted to give them that option.”

When the couple made a Facebook page for their Sept. 8 bash, they listed a link to their wedding registry, which had a cash-donation option — plus the handles to their Venmo and Cash App accounts.

“Two weeks out from the wedding, people started Venmoing,” he says. In total, the couple received about $500 on the cash-sharing app.

From splitting the dinner bill to paying rent, wiring money through Venmo or similar apps has become a standard social practice. Now, the trend’s hitting the wedding industry: In 2018, wedding-planning website the Knot surveyed 1,337 wedding guests, and found that 2 percent of respondents who gave cash at a wedding did so using Venmo. Wedding experts expect that number to grow as more people become comfortable with that technology.

Joseph Quijano and his bride, Shannon, made Venmo an option for cash gift-giving for their wedding. Sydney Noelle

But there are plenty of naysayers. “Older people,” for example, might be put off by couples who share their Venmo information with guests before the wedding, says Rachel Flehinger, co-founder of the Adulting School in Portland, Maine. After all, in the pre-app days, it’s not like couples would announce that they wanted checks or cash — even if they did.

Listing your Venmo information, says Flehinger, “is like crowdsourcing” for cash — and she thinks nearlyweds who do it have “chutzpah.”

“It’s easy and convenient, but there’s no love or tradition,” agrees Jove Meyer, owner and creative director of his namesake New York City-based wedding- and events-design firm. While he’s not personally anti-Venmo, Meyer suspects that the platform makes the gifting process feel “transactional” for some. “It loses the magic of making it something special,” he says.

That might have been the case for Mary Kaltenberg’s wedding guests. The 32-year-old economics postdoctoral fellow at Brandeis University, near Boston, expected her friends to appreciate the cashless option for her August wedding.

“I have an international friend group, and we wanted something easier for people out of the country,” says Kaltenberg. She and her now-husband, Lucas, prominently displayed their Venmo and PayPal handles on their wedding website, alongside a link to a honeymoon fund via the registry Zola.

She was surprised when most of her guests opted to contribute to their Zola fund. “It [has fees,] instead of Venmo, which is free,” she says.

At least she had better luck than Josh, a 24-year-old PR professional who married his husband in Manhattan in November. The couple didn’t register for gifts or list their Venmo accounts, but “nine people gave us a card the day of and said they were Venmoing us,” he says. One friend even signed their card: “P.S. Venmo coming, xo.” But so far, he says, “just one person actually did it.”

Steve Clair has used Venmo several times for wedding gifts — and embellished them with occasion-appropriate emojis. Courtesy of Steve Clair

As for Steve Clair, a 33-year-old broker from Williamsburg, the app has actually rescued his gifting reputation.

At dinner with a recently married cousin, he was shocked when the cousin confronted him: “I’ve been holding this in, but I gotta know: What’s with the no wedding gift?”

They bickered for a few minutes about how long Clair had to send a gift (he thinks it’s a year his cousin disagreed). Then, to calm the waters, Clair decided to take action in the moment: “I’ll send it to you right now!” He opened up Venmo, typed in a string of emojis (man, woman, heart, ring, alcohol, bride) and sent the happy couple $200.

Since that gifting save, he’s Venmoed a few newlyweds, including another cousin, Yael Gewant.

“It was adorable,” says Gewant, who’s 31 and lives in Astoria. “But I’m old-fashioned — I would personally never do this. I still send people cards.”

To help smooth over the app awkwardness, Meyer, who plans “laid-back weddings for modern couples” including “Saturday Night Live’s” Aidy Bryant, suggests a few ground rules for both couples and guests.

“I am not at all in favor of listing your Venmo or PayPal handles on the actual wedding invitation, as that should focus on the details of the celebration, not the gifts the couple is hoping for,” Meyer says. “I am in favor, however, of having it listed on a separate details card in the invitation suite, and on the wedding website.” That way, he explains, people will have a clear sense of what you’re hoping for.

‘I’m old fashioned — I would personally never do this. I still send people cards.’

Flehinger agrees that it’s fine for engaged couples to share their Venmo handle with guests. “It’s the new check — as long as you put it gently” and in a “tasteful manner,” she says. The key is to remember that, unlike a split cab fare or electricity bill, these transactions are gifts — even if they arrive the same way. “As long as you [don’t think you’re] entitled to anything for your wedding, it’s totally acceptable.”

Depending on the couple, you might want to pair your transaction with a card, she says — but if the couple is younger, or the wedding is informal, that might be unnecessary.

“Venmo is so mainstream for younger people,” says Flehinger, who says she flies into a panic whenever she has to find her checkbook. “You put a little note in there, you put your emojis — that’s sort of personal for the younger, more techy generation.”

Kaltenberg says she and her fiancé had numerous talks about the etiquette of listing their app accounts — was it going to look like they were just begging for money?

“We had some big debate on it, but in the end . . . it’s no different than saying, ‘Here’s $50 cash,’ ” she says. “I wish people would embrace it.”

The Venmo MVP of her wedding was a close friend of hers: “She came right up to me at the wedding and said, ‘Can I just Venmo you?’ and did it in real time.”


Millennial newlyweds just want you to Venmo them cash

Joseph Quijano was tired of running to the bank every time a friend got hitched.

“We’ve attended a lot of weddings over the years, and we’d give our friends cash. It was becoming a pain,” the 28-year-old DJ and events manager tells The Post.

So when he and his now-wife, Shannon, planned their wedding, they decided to make things easier for their guests.

“Everyone in our age group uses Venmo,” says Quijano, who lives in San Diego. “So we wanted to give them that option.”

When the couple made a Facebook page for their Sept. 8 bash, they listed a link to their wedding registry, which had a cash-donation option — plus the handles to their Venmo and Cash App accounts.

“Two weeks out from the wedding, people started Venmoing,” he says. In total, the couple received about $500 on the cash-sharing app.

From splitting the dinner bill to paying rent, wiring money through Venmo or similar apps has become a standard social practice. Now, the trend’s hitting the wedding industry: In 2018, wedding-planning website the Knot surveyed 1,337 wedding guests, and found that 2 percent of respondents who gave cash at a wedding did so using Venmo. Wedding experts expect that number to grow as more people become comfortable with that technology.

Joseph Quijano and his bride, Shannon, made Venmo an option for cash gift-giving for their wedding. Sydney Noelle

But there are plenty of naysayers. “Older people,” for example, might be put off by couples who share their Venmo information with guests before the wedding, says Rachel Flehinger, co-founder of the Adulting School in Portland, Maine. After all, in the pre-app days, it’s not like couples would announce that they wanted checks or cash — even if they did.

Listing your Venmo information, says Flehinger, “is like crowdsourcing” for cash — and she thinks nearlyweds who do it have “chutzpah.”

“It’s easy and convenient, but there’s no love or tradition,” agrees Jove Meyer, owner and creative director of his namesake New York City-based wedding- and events-design firm. While he’s not personally anti-Venmo, Meyer suspects that the platform makes the gifting process feel “transactional” for some. “It loses the magic of making it something special,” he says.

That might have been the case for Mary Kaltenberg’s wedding guests. The 32-year-old economics postdoctoral fellow at Brandeis University, near Boston, expected her friends to appreciate the cashless option for her August wedding.

“I have an international friend group, and we wanted something easier for people out of the country,” says Kaltenberg. She and her now-husband, Lucas, prominently displayed their Venmo and PayPal handles on their wedding website, alongside a link to a honeymoon fund via the registry Zola.

She was surprised when most of her guests opted to contribute to their Zola fund. “It [has fees,] instead of Venmo, which is free,” she says.

At least she had better luck than Josh, a 24-year-old PR professional who married his husband in Manhattan in November. The couple didn’t register for gifts or list their Venmo accounts, but “nine people gave us a card the day of and said they were Venmoing us,” he says. One friend even signed their card: “P.S. Venmo coming, xo.” But so far, he says, “just one person actually did it.”

Steve Clair has used Venmo several times for wedding gifts — and embellished them with occasion-appropriate emojis. Courtesy of Steve Clair

As for Steve Clair, a 33-year-old broker from Williamsburg, the app has actually rescued his gifting reputation.

At dinner with a recently married cousin, he was shocked when the cousin confronted him: “I’ve been holding this in, but I gotta know: What’s with the no wedding gift?”

They bickered for a few minutes about how long Clair had to send a gift (he thinks it’s a year his cousin disagreed). Then, to calm the waters, Clair decided to take action in the moment: “I’ll send it to you right now!” He opened up Venmo, typed in a string of emojis (man, woman, heart, ring, alcohol, bride) and sent the happy couple $200.

Since that gifting save, he’s Venmoed a few newlyweds, including another cousin, Yael Gewant.

“It was adorable,” says Gewant, who’s 31 and lives in Astoria. “But I’m old-fashioned — I would personally never do this. I still send people cards.”

To help smooth over the app awkwardness, Meyer, who plans “laid-back weddings for modern couples” including “Saturday Night Live’s” Aidy Bryant, suggests a few ground rules for both couples and guests.

“I am not at all in favor of listing your Venmo or PayPal handles on the actual wedding invitation, as that should focus on the details of the celebration, not the gifts the couple is hoping for,” Meyer says. “I am in favor, however, of having it listed on a separate details card in the invitation suite, and on the wedding website.” That way, he explains, people will have a clear sense of what you’re hoping for.

‘I’m old fashioned — I would personally never do this. I still send people cards.’

Flehinger agrees that it’s fine for engaged couples to share their Venmo handle with guests. “It’s the new check — as long as you put it gently” and in a “tasteful manner,” she says. The key is to remember that, unlike a split cab fare or electricity bill, these transactions are gifts — even if they arrive the same way. “As long as you [don’t think you’re] entitled to anything for your wedding, it’s totally acceptable.”

Depending on the couple, you might want to pair your transaction with a card, she says — but if the couple is younger, or the wedding is informal, that might be unnecessary.

“Venmo is so mainstream for younger people,” says Flehinger, who says she flies into a panic whenever she has to find her checkbook. “You put a little note in there, you put your emojis — that’s sort of personal for the younger, more techy generation.”

Kaltenberg says she and her fiancé had numerous talks about the etiquette of listing their app accounts — was it going to look like they were just begging for money?

“We had some big debate on it, but in the end . . . it’s no different than saying, ‘Here’s $50 cash,’ ” she says. “I wish people would embrace it.”

The Venmo MVP of her wedding was a close friend of hers: “She came right up to me at the wedding and said, ‘Can I just Venmo you?’ and did it in real time.”


Millennial newlyweds just want you to Venmo them cash

Joseph Quijano was tired of running to the bank every time a friend got hitched.

“We’ve attended a lot of weddings over the years, and we’d give our friends cash. It was becoming a pain,” the 28-year-old DJ and events manager tells The Post.

So when he and his now-wife, Shannon, planned their wedding, they decided to make things easier for their guests.

“Everyone in our age group uses Venmo,” says Quijano, who lives in San Diego. “So we wanted to give them that option.”

When the couple made a Facebook page for their Sept. 8 bash, they listed a link to their wedding registry, which had a cash-donation option — plus the handles to their Venmo and Cash App accounts.

“Two weeks out from the wedding, people started Venmoing,” he says. In total, the couple received about $500 on the cash-sharing app.

From splitting the dinner bill to paying rent, wiring money through Venmo or similar apps has become a standard social practice. Now, the trend’s hitting the wedding industry: In 2018, wedding-planning website the Knot surveyed 1,337 wedding guests, and found that 2 percent of respondents who gave cash at a wedding did so using Venmo. Wedding experts expect that number to grow as more people become comfortable with that technology.

Joseph Quijano and his bride, Shannon, made Venmo an option for cash gift-giving for their wedding. Sydney Noelle

But there are plenty of naysayers. “Older people,” for example, might be put off by couples who share their Venmo information with guests before the wedding, says Rachel Flehinger, co-founder of the Adulting School in Portland, Maine. After all, in the pre-app days, it’s not like couples would announce that they wanted checks or cash — even if they did.

Listing your Venmo information, says Flehinger, “is like crowdsourcing” for cash — and she thinks nearlyweds who do it have “chutzpah.”

“It’s easy and convenient, but there’s no love or tradition,” agrees Jove Meyer, owner and creative director of his namesake New York City-based wedding- and events-design firm. While he’s not personally anti-Venmo, Meyer suspects that the platform makes the gifting process feel “transactional” for some. “It loses the magic of making it something special,” he says.

That might have been the case for Mary Kaltenberg’s wedding guests. The 32-year-old economics postdoctoral fellow at Brandeis University, near Boston, expected her friends to appreciate the cashless option for her August wedding.

“I have an international friend group, and we wanted something easier for people out of the country,” says Kaltenberg. She and her now-husband, Lucas, prominently displayed their Venmo and PayPal handles on their wedding website, alongside a link to a honeymoon fund via the registry Zola.

She was surprised when most of her guests opted to contribute to their Zola fund. “It [has fees,] instead of Venmo, which is free,” she says.

At least she had better luck than Josh, a 24-year-old PR professional who married his husband in Manhattan in November. The couple didn’t register for gifts or list their Venmo accounts, but “nine people gave us a card the day of and said they were Venmoing us,” he says. One friend even signed their card: “P.S. Venmo coming, xo.” But so far, he says, “just one person actually did it.”

Steve Clair has used Venmo several times for wedding gifts — and embellished them with occasion-appropriate emojis. Courtesy of Steve Clair

As for Steve Clair, a 33-year-old broker from Williamsburg, the app has actually rescued his gifting reputation.

At dinner with a recently married cousin, he was shocked when the cousin confronted him: “I’ve been holding this in, but I gotta know: What’s with the no wedding gift?”

They bickered for a few minutes about how long Clair had to send a gift (he thinks it’s a year his cousin disagreed). Then, to calm the waters, Clair decided to take action in the moment: “I’ll send it to you right now!” He opened up Venmo, typed in a string of emojis (man, woman, heart, ring, alcohol, bride) and sent the happy couple $200.

Since that gifting save, he’s Venmoed a few newlyweds, including another cousin, Yael Gewant.

“It was adorable,” says Gewant, who’s 31 and lives in Astoria. “But I’m old-fashioned — I would personally never do this. I still send people cards.”

To help smooth over the app awkwardness, Meyer, who plans “laid-back weddings for modern couples” including “Saturday Night Live’s” Aidy Bryant, suggests a few ground rules for both couples and guests.

“I am not at all in favor of listing your Venmo or PayPal handles on the actual wedding invitation, as that should focus on the details of the celebration, not the gifts the couple is hoping for,” Meyer says. “I am in favor, however, of having it listed on a separate details card in the invitation suite, and on the wedding website.” That way, he explains, people will have a clear sense of what you’re hoping for.

‘I’m old fashioned — I would personally never do this. I still send people cards.’

Flehinger agrees that it’s fine for engaged couples to share their Venmo handle with guests. “It’s the new check — as long as you put it gently” and in a “tasteful manner,” she says. The key is to remember that, unlike a split cab fare or electricity bill, these transactions are gifts — even if they arrive the same way. “As long as you [don’t think you’re] entitled to anything for your wedding, it’s totally acceptable.”

Depending on the couple, you might want to pair your transaction with a card, she says — but if the couple is younger, or the wedding is informal, that might be unnecessary.

“Venmo is so mainstream for younger people,” says Flehinger, who says she flies into a panic whenever she has to find her checkbook. “You put a little note in there, you put your emojis — that’s sort of personal for the younger, more techy generation.”

Kaltenberg says she and her fiancé had numerous talks about the etiquette of listing their app accounts — was it going to look like they were just begging for money?

“We had some big debate on it, but in the end . . . it’s no different than saying, ‘Here’s $50 cash,’ ” she says. “I wish people would embrace it.”

The Venmo MVP of her wedding was a close friend of hers: “She came right up to me at the wedding and said, ‘Can I just Venmo you?’ and did it in real time.”


Millennial newlyweds just want you to Venmo them cash

Joseph Quijano was tired of running to the bank every time a friend got hitched.

“We’ve attended a lot of weddings over the years, and we’d give our friends cash. It was becoming a pain,” the 28-year-old DJ and events manager tells The Post.

So when he and his now-wife, Shannon, planned their wedding, they decided to make things easier for their guests.

“Everyone in our age group uses Venmo,” says Quijano, who lives in San Diego. “So we wanted to give them that option.”

When the couple made a Facebook page for their Sept. 8 bash, they listed a link to their wedding registry, which had a cash-donation option — plus the handles to their Venmo and Cash App accounts.

“Two weeks out from the wedding, people started Venmoing,” he says. In total, the couple received about $500 on the cash-sharing app.

From splitting the dinner bill to paying rent, wiring money through Venmo or similar apps has become a standard social practice. Now, the trend’s hitting the wedding industry: In 2018, wedding-planning website the Knot surveyed 1,337 wedding guests, and found that 2 percent of respondents who gave cash at a wedding did so using Venmo. Wedding experts expect that number to grow as more people become comfortable with that technology.

Joseph Quijano and his bride, Shannon, made Venmo an option for cash gift-giving for their wedding. Sydney Noelle

But there are plenty of naysayers. “Older people,” for example, might be put off by couples who share their Venmo information with guests before the wedding, says Rachel Flehinger, co-founder of the Adulting School in Portland, Maine. After all, in the pre-app days, it’s not like couples would announce that they wanted checks or cash — even if they did.

Listing your Venmo information, says Flehinger, “is like crowdsourcing” for cash — and she thinks nearlyweds who do it have “chutzpah.”

“It’s easy and convenient, but there’s no love or tradition,” agrees Jove Meyer, owner and creative director of his namesake New York City-based wedding- and events-design firm. While he’s not personally anti-Venmo, Meyer suspects that the platform makes the gifting process feel “transactional” for some. “It loses the magic of making it something special,” he says.

That might have been the case for Mary Kaltenberg’s wedding guests. The 32-year-old economics postdoctoral fellow at Brandeis University, near Boston, expected her friends to appreciate the cashless option for her August wedding.

“I have an international friend group, and we wanted something easier for people out of the country,” says Kaltenberg. She and her now-husband, Lucas, prominently displayed their Venmo and PayPal handles on their wedding website, alongside a link to a honeymoon fund via the registry Zola.

She was surprised when most of her guests opted to contribute to their Zola fund. “It [has fees,] instead of Venmo, which is free,” she says.

At least she had better luck than Josh, a 24-year-old PR professional who married his husband in Manhattan in November. The couple didn’t register for gifts or list their Venmo accounts, but “nine people gave us a card the day of and said they were Venmoing us,” he says. One friend even signed their card: “P.S. Venmo coming, xo.” But so far, he says, “just one person actually did it.”

Steve Clair has used Venmo several times for wedding gifts — and embellished them with occasion-appropriate emojis. Courtesy of Steve Clair

As for Steve Clair, a 33-year-old broker from Williamsburg, the app has actually rescued his gifting reputation.

At dinner with a recently married cousin, he was shocked when the cousin confronted him: “I’ve been holding this in, but I gotta know: What’s with the no wedding gift?”

They bickered for a few minutes about how long Clair had to send a gift (he thinks it’s a year his cousin disagreed). Then, to calm the waters, Clair decided to take action in the moment: “I’ll send it to you right now!” He opened up Venmo, typed in a string of emojis (man, woman, heart, ring, alcohol, bride) and sent the happy couple $200.

Since that gifting save, he’s Venmoed a few newlyweds, including another cousin, Yael Gewant.

“It was adorable,” says Gewant, who’s 31 and lives in Astoria. “But I’m old-fashioned — I would personally never do this. I still send people cards.”

To help smooth over the app awkwardness, Meyer, who plans “laid-back weddings for modern couples” including “Saturday Night Live’s” Aidy Bryant, suggests a few ground rules for both couples and guests.

“I am not at all in favor of listing your Venmo or PayPal handles on the actual wedding invitation, as that should focus on the details of the celebration, not the gifts the couple is hoping for,” Meyer says. “I am in favor, however, of having it listed on a separate details card in the invitation suite, and on the wedding website.” That way, he explains, people will have a clear sense of what you’re hoping for.

‘I’m old fashioned — I would personally never do this. I still send people cards.’

Flehinger agrees that it’s fine for engaged couples to share their Venmo handle with guests. “It’s the new check — as long as you put it gently” and in a “tasteful manner,” she says. The key is to remember that, unlike a split cab fare or electricity bill, these transactions are gifts — even if they arrive the same way. “As long as you [don’t think you’re] entitled to anything for your wedding, it’s totally acceptable.”

Depending on the couple, you might want to pair your transaction with a card, she says — but if the couple is younger, or the wedding is informal, that might be unnecessary.

“Venmo is so mainstream for younger people,” says Flehinger, who says she flies into a panic whenever she has to find her checkbook. “You put a little note in there, you put your emojis — that’s sort of personal for the younger, more techy generation.”

Kaltenberg says she and her fiancé had numerous talks about the etiquette of listing their app accounts — was it going to look like they were just begging for money?

“We had some big debate on it, but in the end . . . it’s no different than saying, ‘Here’s $50 cash,’ ” she says. “I wish people would embrace it.”

The Venmo MVP of her wedding was a close friend of hers: “She came right up to me at the wedding and said, ‘Can I just Venmo you?’ and did it in real time.”


Millennial newlyweds just want you to Venmo them cash

Joseph Quijano was tired of running to the bank every time a friend got hitched.

“We’ve attended a lot of weddings over the years, and we’d give our friends cash. It was becoming a pain,” the 28-year-old DJ and events manager tells The Post.

So when he and his now-wife, Shannon, planned their wedding, they decided to make things easier for their guests.

“Everyone in our age group uses Venmo,” says Quijano, who lives in San Diego. “So we wanted to give them that option.”

When the couple made a Facebook page for their Sept. 8 bash, they listed a link to their wedding registry, which had a cash-donation option — plus the handles to their Venmo and Cash App accounts.

“Two weeks out from the wedding, people started Venmoing,” he says. In total, the couple received about $500 on the cash-sharing app.

From splitting the dinner bill to paying rent, wiring money through Venmo or similar apps has become a standard social practice. Now, the trend’s hitting the wedding industry: In 2018, wedding-planning website the Knot surveyed 1,337 wedding guests, and found that 2 percent of respondents who gave cash at a wedding did so using Venmo. Wedding experts expect that number to grow as more people become comfortable with that technology.

Joseph Quijano and his bride, Shannon, made Venmo an option for cash gift-giving for their wedding. Sydney Noelle

But there are plenty of naysayers. “Older people,” for example, might be put off by couples who share their Venmo information with guests before the wedding, says Rachel Flehinger, co-founder of the Adulting School in Portland, Maine. After all, in the pre-app days, it’s not like couples would announce that they wanted checks or cash — even if they did.

Listing your Venmo information, says Flehinger, “is like crowdsourcing” for cash — and she thinks nearlyweds who do it have “chutzpah.”

“It’s easy and convenient, but there’s no love or tradition,” agrees Jove Meyer, owner and creative director of his namesake New York City-based wedding- and events-design firm. While he’s not personally anti-Venmo, Meyer suspects that the platform makes the gifting process feel “transactional” for some. “It loses the magic of making it something special,” he says.

That might have been the case for Mary Kaltenberg’s wedding guests. The 32-year-old economics postdoctoral fellow at Brandeis University, near Boston, expected her friends to appreciate the cashless option for her August wedding.

“I have an international friend group, and we wanted something easier for people out of the country,” says Kaltenberg. She and her now-husband, Lucas, prominently displayed their Venmo and PayPal handles on their wedding website, alongside a link to a honeymoon fund via the registry Zola.

She was surprised when most of her guests opted to contribute to their Zola fund. “It [has fees,] instead of Venmo, which is free,” she says.

At least she had better luck than Josh, a 24-year-old PR professional who married his husband in Manhattan in November. The couple didn’t register for gifts or list their Venmo accounts, but “nine people gave us a card the day of and said they were Venmoing us,” he says. One friend even signed their card: “P.S. Venmo coming, xo.” But so far, he says, “just one person actually did it.”

Steve Clair has used Venmo several times for wedding gifts — and embellished them with occasion-appropriate emojis. Courtesy of Steve Clair

As for Steve Clair, a 33-year-old broker from Williamsburg, the app has actually rescued his gifting reputation.

At dinner with a recently married cousin, he was shocked when the cousin confronted him: “I’ve been holding this in, but I gotta know: What’s with the no wedding gift?”

They bickered for a few minutes about how long Clair had to send a gift (he thinks it’s a year his cousin disagreed). Then, to calm the waters, Clair decided to take action in the moment: “I’ll send it to you right now!” He opened up Venmo, typed in a string of emojis (man, woman, heart, ring, alcohol, bride) and sent the happy couple $200.

Since that gifting save, he’s Venmoed a few newlyweds, including another cousin, Yael Gewant.

“It was adorable,” says Gewant, who’s 31 and lives in Astoria. “But I’m old-fashioned — I would personally never do this. I still send people cards.”

To help smooth over the app awkwardness, Meyer, who plans “laid-back weddings for modern couples” including “Saturday Night Live’s” Aidy Bryant, suggests a few ground rules for both couples and guests.

“I am not at all in favor of listing your Venmo or PayPal handles on the actual wedding invitation, as that should focus on the details of the celebration, not the gifts the couple is hoping for,” Meyer says. “I am in favor, however, of having it listed on a separate details card in the invitation suite, and on the wedding website.” That way, he explains, people will have a clear sense of what you’re hoping for.

‘I’m old fashioned — I would personally never do this. I still send people cards.’

Flehinger agrees that it’s fine for engaged couples to share their Venmo handle with guests. “It’s the new check — as long as you put it gently” and in a “tasteful manner,” she says. The key is to remember that, unlike a split cab fare or electricity bill, these transactions are gifts — even if they arrive the same way. “As long as you [don’t think you’re] entitled to anything for your wedding, it’s totally acceptable.”

Depending on the couple, you might want to pair your transaction with a card, she says — but if the couple is younger, or the wedding is informal, that might be unnecessary.

“Venmo is so mainstream for younger people,” says Flehinger, who says she flies into a panic whenever she has to find her checkbook. “You put a little note in there, you put your emojis — that’s sort of personal for the younger, more techy generation.”

Kaltenberg says she and her fiancé had numerous talks about the etiquette of listing their app accounts — was it going to look like they were just begging for money?

“We had some big debate on it, but in the end . . . it’s no different than saying, ‘Here’s $50 cash,’ ” she says. “I wish people would embrace it.”

The Venmo MVP of her wedding was a close friend of hers: “She came right up to me at the wedding and said, ‘Can I just Venmo you?’ and did it in real time.”


Millennial newlyweds just want you to Venmo them cash

Joseph Quijano was tired of running to the bank every time a friend got hitched.

“We’ve attended a lot of weddings over the years, and we’d give our friends cash. It was becoming a pain,” the 28-year-old DJ and events manager tells The Post.

So when he and his now-wife, Shannon, planned their wedding, they decided to make things easier for their guests.

“Everyone in our age group uses Venmo,” says Quijano, who lives in San Diego. “So we wanted to give them that option.”

When the couple made a Facebook page for their Sept. 8 bash, they listed a link to their wedding registry, which had a cash-donation option — plus the handles to their Venmo and Cash App accounts.

“Two weeks out from the wedding, people started Venmoing,” he says. In total, the couple received about $500 on the cash-sharing app.

From splitting the dinner bill to paying rent, wiring money through Venmo or similar apps has become a standard social practice. Now, the trend’s hitting the wedding industry: In 2018, wedding-planning website the Knot surveyed 1,337 wedding guests, and found that 2 percent of respondents who gave cash at a wedding did so using Venmo. Wedding experts expect that number to grow as more people become comfortable with that technology.

Joseph Quijano and his bride, Shannon, made Venmo an option for cash gift-giving for their wedding. Sydney Noelle

But there are plenty of naysayers. “Older people,” for example, might be put off by couples who share their Venmo information with guests before the wedding, says Rachel Flehinger, co-founder of the Adulting School in Portland, Maine. After all, in the pre-app days, it’s not like couples would announce that they wanted checks or cash — even if they did.

Listing your Venmo information, says Flehinger, “is like crowdsourcing” for cash — and she thinks nearlyweds who do it have “chutzpah.”

“It’s easy and convenient, but there’s no love or tradition,” agrees Jove Meyer, owner and creative director of his namesake New York City-based wedding- and events-design firm. While he’s not personally anti-Venmo, Meyer suspects that the platform makes the gifting process feel “transactional” for some. “It loses the magic of making it something special,” he says.

That might have been the case for Mary Kaltenberg’s wedding guests. The 32-year-old economics postdoctoral fellow at Brandeis University, near Boston, expected her friends to appreciate the cashless option for her August wedding.

“I have an international friend group, and we wanted something easier for people out of the country,” says Kaltenberg. She and her now-husband, Lucas, prominently displayed their Venmo and PayPal handles on their wedding website, alongside a link to a honeymoon fund via the registry Zola.

She was surprised when most of her guests opted to contribute to their Zola fund. “It [has fees,] instead of Venmo, which is free,” she says.

At least she had better luck than Josh, a 24-year-old PR professional who married his husband in Manhattan in November. The couple didn’t register for gifts or list their Venmo accounts, but “nine people gave us a card the day of and said they were Venmoing us,” he says. One friend even signed their card: “P.S. Venmo coming, xo.” But so far, he says, “just one person actually did it.”

Steve Clair has used Venmo several times for wedding gifts — and embellished them with occasion-appropriate emojis. Courtesy of Steve Clair

As for Steve Clair, a 33-year-old broker from Williamsburg, the app has actually rescued his gifting reputation.

At dinner with a recently married cousin, he was shocked when the cousin confronted him: “I’ve been holding this in, but I gotta know: What’s with the no wedding gift?”

They bickered for a few minutes about how long Clair had to send a gift (he thinks it’s a year his cousin disagreed). Then, to calm the waters, Clair decided to take action in the moment: “I’ll send it to you right now!” He opened up Venmo, typed in a string of emojis (man, woman, heart, ring, alcohol, bride) and sent the happy couple $200.

Since that gifting save, he’s Venmoed a few newlyweds, including another cousin, Yael Gewant.

“It was adorable,” says Gewant, who’s 31 and lives in Astoria. “But I’m old-fashioned — I would personally never do this. I still send people cards.”

To help smooth over the app awkwardness, Meyer, who plans “laid-back weddings for modern couples” including “Saturday Night Live’s” Aidy Bryant, suggests a few ground rules for both couples and guests.

“I am not at all in favor of listing your Venmo or PayPal handles on the actual wedding invitation, as that should focus on the details of the celebration, not the gifts the couple is hoping for,” Meyer says. “I am in favor, however, of having it listed on a separate details card in the invitation suite, and on the wedding website.” That way, he explains, people will have a clear sense of what you’re hoping for.

‘I’m old fashioned — I would personally never do this. I still send people cards.’

Flehinger agrees that it’s fine for engaged couples to share their Venmo handle with guests. “It’s the new check — as long as you put it gently” and in a “tasteful manner,” she says. The key is to remember that, unlike a split cab fare or electricity bill, these transactions are gifts — even if they arrive the same way. “As long as you [don’t think you’re] entitled to anything for your wedding, it’s totally acceptable.”

Depending on the couple, you might want to pair your transaction with a card, she says — but if the couple is younger, or the wedding is informal, that might be unnecessary.

“Venmo is so mainstream for younger people,” says Flehinger, who says she flies into a panic whenever she has to find her checkbook. “You put a little note in there, you put your emojis — that’s sort of personal for the younger, more techy generation.”

Kaltenberg says she and her fiancé had numerous talks about the etiquette of listing their app accounts — was it going to look like they were just begging for money?

“We had some big debate on it, but in the end . . . it’s no different than saying, ‘Here’s $50 cash,’ ” she says. “I wish people would embrace it.”

The Venmo MVP of her wedding was a close friend of hers: “She came right up to me at the wedding and said, ‘Can I just Venmo you?’ and did it in real time.”


Millennial newlyweds just want you to Venmo them cash

Joseph Quijano was tired of running to the bank every time a friend got hitched.

“We’ve attended a lot of weddings over the years, and we’d give our friends cash. It was becoming a pain,” the 28-year-old DJ and events manager tells The Post.

So when he and his now-wife, Shannon, planned their wedding, they decided to make things easier for their guests.

“Everyone in our age group uses Venmo,” says Quijano, who lives in San Diego. “So we wanted to give them that option.”

When the couple made a Facebook page for their Sept. 8 bash, they listed a link to their wedding registry, which had a cash-donation option — plus the handles to their Venmo and Cash App accounts.

“Two weeks out from the wedding, people started Venmoing,” he says. In total, the couple received about $500 on the cash-sharing app.

From splitting the dinner bill to paying rent, wiring money through Venmo or similar apps has become a standard social practice. Now, the trend’s hitting the wedding industry: In 2018, wedding-planning website the Knot surveyed 1,337 wedding guests, and found that 2 percent of respondents who gave cash at a wedding did so using Venmo. Wedding experts expect that number to grow as more people become comfortable with that technology.

Joseph Quijano and his bride, Shannon, made Venmo an option for cash gift-giving for their wedding. Sydney Noelle

But there are plenty of naysayers. “Older people,” for example, might be put off by couples who share their Venmo information with guests before the wedding, says Rachel Flehinger, co-founder of the Adulting School in Portland, Maine. After all, in the pre-app days, it’s not like couples would announce that they wanted checks or cash — even if they did.

Listing your Venmo information, says Flehinger, “is like crowdsourcing” for cash — and she thinks nearlyweds who do it have “chutzpah.”

“It’s easy and convenient, but there’s no love or tradition,” agrees Jove Meyer, owner and creative director of his namesake New York City-based wedding- and events-design firm. While he’s not personally anti-Venmo, Meyer suspects that the platform makes the gifting process feel “transactional” for some. “It loses the magic of making it something special,” he says.

That might have been the case for Mary Kaltenberg’s wedding guests. The 32-year-old economics postdoctoral fellow at Brandeis University, near Boston, expected her friends to appreciate the cashless option for her August wedding.

“I have an international friend group, and we wanted something easier for people out of the country,” says Kaltenberg. She and her now-husband, Lucas, prominently displayed their Venmo and PayPal handles on their wedding website, alongside a link to a honeymoon fund via the registry Zola.

She was surprised when most of her guests opted to contribute to their Zola fund. “It [has fees,] instead of Venmo, which is free,” she says.

At least she had better luck than Josh, a 24-year-old PR professional who married his husband in Manhattan in November. The couple didn’t register for gifts or list their Venmo accounts, but “nine people gave us a card the day of and said they were Venmoing us,” he says. One friend even signed their card: “P.S. Venmo coming, xo.” But so far, he says, “just one person actually did it.”

Steve Clair has used Venmo several times for wedding gifts — and embellished them with occasion-appropriate emojis. Courtesy of Steve Clair

As for Steve Clair, a 33-year-old broker from Williamsburg, the app has actually rescued his gifting reputation.

At dinner with a recently married cousin, he was shocked when the cousin confronted him: “I’ve been holding this in, but I gotta know: What’s with the no wedding gift?”

They bickered for a few minutes about how long Clair had to send a gift (he thinks it’s a year his cousin disagreed). Then, to calm the waters, Clair decided to take action in the moment: “I’ll send it to you right now!” He opened up Venmo, typed in a string of emojis (man, woman, heart, ring, alcohol, bride) and sent the happy couple $200.

Since that gifting save, he’s Venmoed a few newlyweds, including another cousin, Yael Gewant.

“It was adorable,” says Gewant, who’s 31 and lives in Astoria. “But I’m old-fashioned — I would personally never do this. I still send people cards.”

To help smooth over the app awkwardness, Meyer, who plans “laid-back weddings for modern couples” including “Saturday Night Live’s” Aidy Bryant, suggests a few ground rules for both couples and guests.

“I am not at all in favor of listing your Venmo or PayPal handles on the actual wedding invitation, as that should focus on the details of the celebration, not the gifts the couple is hoping for,” Meyer says. “I am in favor, however, of having it listed on a separate details card in the invitation suite, and on the wedding website.” That way, he explains, people will have a clear sense of what you’re hoping for.

‘I’m old fashioned — I would personally never do this. I still send people cards.’

Flehinger agrees that it’s fine for engaged couples to share their Venmo handle with guests. “It’s the new check — as long as you put it gently” and in a “tasteful manner,” she says. The key is to remember that, unlike a split cab fare or electricity bill, these transactions are gifts — even if they arrive the same way. “As long as you [don’t think you’re] entitled to anything for your wedding, it’s totally acceptable.”

Depending on the couple, you might want to pair your transaction with a card, she says — but if the couple is younger, or the wedding is informal, that might be unnecessary.

“Venmo is so mainstream for younger people,” says Flehinger, who says she flies into a panic whenever she has to find her checkbook. “You put a little note in there, you put your emojis — that’s sort of personal for the younger, more techy generation.”

Kaltenberg says she and her fiancé had numerous talks about the etiquette of listing their app accounts — was it going to look like they were just begging for money?

“We had some big debate on it, but in the end . . . it’s no different than saying, ‘Here’s $50 cash,’ ” she says. “I wish people would embrace it.”

The Venmo MVP of her wedding was a close friend of hers: “She came right up to me at the wedding and said, ‘Can I just Venmo you?’ and did it in real time.”


Millennial newlyweds just want you to Venmo them cash

Joseph Quijano was tired of running to the bank every time a friend got hitched.

“We’ve attended a lot of weddings over the years, and we’d give our friends cash. It was becoming a pain,” the 28-year-old DJ and events manager tells The Post.

So when he and his now-wife, Shannon, planned their wedding, they decided to make things easier for their guests.

“Everyone in our age group uses Venmo,” says Quijano, who lives in San Diego. “So we wanted to give them that option.”

When the couple made a Facebook page for their Sept. 8 bash, they listed a link to their wedding registry, which had a cash-donation option — plus the handles to their Venmo and Cash App accounts.

“Two weeks out from the wedding, people started Venmoing,” he says. In total, the couple received about $500 on the cash-sharing app.

From splitting the dinner bill to paying rent, wiring money through Venmo or similar apps has become a standard social practice. Now, the trend’s hitting the wedding industry: In 2018, wedding-planning website the Knot surveyed 1,337 wedding guests, and found that 2 percent of respondents who gave cash at a wedding did so using Venmo. Wedding experts expect that number to grow as more people become comfortable with that technology.

Joseph Quijano and his bride, Shannon, made Venmo an option for cash gift-giving for their wedding. Sydney Noelle

But there are plenty of naysayers. “Older people,” for example, might be put off by couples who share their Venmo information with guests before the wedding, says Rachel Flehinger, co-founder of the Adulting School in Portland, Maine. After all, in the pre-app days, it’s not like couples would announce that they wanted checks or cash — even if they did.

Listing your Venmo information, says Flehinger, “is like crowdsourcing” for cash — and she thinks nearlyweds who do it have “chutzpah.”

“It’s easy and convenient, but there’s no love or tradition,” agrees Jove Meyer, owner and creative director of his namesake New York City-based wedding- and events-design firm. While he’s not personally anti-Venmo, Meyer suspects that the platform makes the gifting process feel “transactional” for some. “It loses the magic of making it something special,” he says.

That might have been the case for Mary Kaltenberg’s wedding guests. The 32-year-old economics postdoctoral fellow at Brandeis University, near Boston, expected her friends to appreciate the cashless option for her August wedding.

“I have an international friend group, and we wanted something easier for people out of the country,” says Kaltenberg. She and her now-husband, Lucas, prominently displayed their Venmo and PayPal handles on their wedding website, alongside a link to a honeymoon fund via the registry Zola.

She was surprised when most of her guests opted to contribute to their Zola fund. “It [has fees,] instead of Venmo, which is free,” she says.

At least she had better luck than Josh, a 24-year-old PR professional who married his husband in Manhattan in November. The couple didn’t register for gifts or list their Venmo accounts, but “nine people gave us a card the day of and said they were Venmoing us,” he says. One friend even signed their card: “P.S. Venmo coming, xo.” But so far, he says, “just one person actually did it.”

Steve Clair has used Venmo several times for wedding gifts — and embellished them with occasion-appropriate emojis. Courtesy of Steve Clair

As for Steve Clair, a 33-year-old broker from Williamsburg, the app has actually rescued his gifting reputation.

At dinner with a recently married cousin, he was shocked when the cousin confronted him: “I’ve been holding this in, but I gotta know: What’s with the no wedding gift?”

They bickered for a few minutes about how long Clair had to send a gift (he thinks it’s a year his cousin disagreed). Then, to calm the waters, Clair decided to take action in the moment: “I’ll send it to you right now!” He opened up Venmo, typed in a string of emojis (man, woman, heart, ring, alcohol, bride) and sent the happy couple $200.

Since that gifting save, he’s Venmoed a few newlyweds, including another cousin, Yael Gewant.

“It was adorable,” says Gewant, who’s 31 and lives in Astoria. “But I’m old-fashioned — I would personally never do this. I still send people cards.”

To help smooth over the app awkwardness, Meyer, who plans “laid-back weddings for modern couples” including “Saturday Night Live’s” Aidy Bryant, suggests a few ground rules for both couples and guests.

“I am not at all in favor of listing your Venmo or PayPal handles on the actual wedding invitation, as that should focus on the details of the celebration, not the gifts the couple is hoping for,” Meyer says. “I am in favor, however, of having it listed on a separate details card in the invitation suite, and on the wedding website.” That way, he explains, people will have a clear sense of what you’re hoping for.

‘I’m old fashioned — I would personally never do this. I still send people cards.’

Flehinger agrees that it’s fine for engaged couples to share their Venmo handle with guests. “It’s the new check — as long as you put it gently” and in a “tasteful manner,” she says. The key is to remember that, unlike a split cab fare or electricity bill, these transactions are gifts — even if they arrive the same way. “As long as you [don’t think you’re] entitled to anything for your wedding, it’s totally acceptable.”

Depending on the couple, you might want to pair your transaction with a card, she says — but if the couple is younger, or the wedding is informal, that might be unnecessary.

“Venmo is so mainstream for younger people,” says Flehinger, who says she flies into a panic whenever she has to find her checkbook. “You put a little note in there, you put your emojis — that’s sort of personal for the younger, more techy generation.”

Kaltenberg says she and her fiancé had numerous talks about the etiquette of listing their app accounts — was it going to look like they were just begging for money?

“We had some big debate on it, but in the end . . . it’s no different than saying, ‘Here’s $50 cash,’ ” she says. “I wish people would embrace it.”

The Venmo MVP of her wedding was a close friend of hers: “She came right up to me at the wedding and said, ‘Can I just Venmo you?’ and did it in real time.”


Watch the video: Money Etiquette: How to Politely Ask for a Honeymoon Fund (August 2022).